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A conversation with Sofia Stevi

For the "A conversation with" I would like to send you the script of the opening monologue from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, written and directed by John Hughes and performed by Matthew Broderick (1986)

Sofia Stevi

Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this? This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably gonna have to barf up a lung, so I'd better make this one count. The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, eh, you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean really, what's the point. I'm not European. I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists. They could be fascist-anarchists and it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. (Singing in shower) It's not that I condone fascism or any 'ism' for that matter. Ism's, in my opinion, are not good. A person should not believe in an 'ism' he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: 'I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me'. A good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off of people.